Today’s post shares something that’s been on my heart lately. I hope that it will help anyone who feels a little lost after a life change.
Something I’ve discussed with my therapist this month has really opened my eyes to one of the sources of my anxiety and postpartum emotions. I realized that I have been holding on to the notion that I needed to “get back to my old self.” I keep talking about getting back on track when it comes to my workouts or feeling more like myself again. The reason I am still struggling with these things is that I will never go back to the “old” me. I see that now.
Adding a second child to our family has forever changed me. When V joined us I was able to continue doing everything I loved and wanted to do because she was not a newborn. It was a transition, yes, but she didn’t require drastic changes to my lifestyle (and body).
I finally recognize that I won’t ever be the same, and that’s a not a bad thing. I just need to figure out what our new normal will be.
I have been expecting a lot out of myself. I had signed up for a half-marathon when I was pregnant and then I was so disappointed in myself when I didn’t train adequately. I wrote down so many things on my to-do list and then felt like a failure when they weren’t all done. I tried to keep up with social media and then felt down when I didn’t get the engagement I did before. I need to make a change in order to find my new self. I am learning that by letting go of unrealistic expectations I can be happier and less anxious.
What will be my new normal? Maybe I won’t be working out four or five times a week like I used to. Maybe my workouts will be different for a few years. My body might never look like it did before pregnancy, and that’s OK! I can work toward loving where I am or making healthy changes so that I feel better about myself. We will probably travel to more family-friendly places now, but that doesn’t have to be a negative. Maybe I will try to adjust my work schedule or ease my workload. Maybe Graham and I will have to schedule date nights far in advance based on our crazy schedules.
What will our life look like in a week, month, and year? I have no idea. But I have a little bit more peace moving forward because I know it’s OK that I take some time to figure out who I am now. It’s OK to take time to figure out a lifestyle that will be best for our family and my well-being.
Have you experienced a life-changing transition recently? How did you cope?