Remember when I shared 2020 goals? March goals? I was so full of optimism, as I’m sure so many of us were, and then, well, you know. This past two and a half weeks of quarantine, as we all seem to be calling it, has been surreal. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve asked myself whether this is real life. Is this actually happening?
Right now the focus is figuring out this new normal. I’ve taken on the role of teacher, like parents around the country and world, in addition to my full-time job. I’m exhausted and anxious. I have always appreciated teachers, but this was a reminder that teacher appreciation gifts are going to need to be much more generous from now on. I’ve been using a workbook I bought for V a few months ago, along with the resources her school principal and teacher sent over. We’re doing the best we can. I’m just so sad that she doesn’t get to see her friends and teacher right now, but V has shown me how resilient she is. She understands that we’re staying home to try to stay healthy and that some things, like her birthday party, which she has been talking about for months, might need to be rescheduled for a later date.
Graham and I are still working, which I am thankful for. I have worked from home for five years, so I’m used to it, but not while also needing to homeschool. It’s been a delicate balance. My manager told me to let him know if I need more time or flexibility, and I’m grateful for that; however, it’s still overwhelming. I don’t really get time to myself by heading to the gym or … anywhere.
Graham has been deemed essential and must report to work at least four days a week, during which I am a nervous wreck. He’s been taking every precaution: Distancing, gloves, cleaning, wearing a mask (not N95), not hugging us when he gets home, immediately showering, etc. I wish he could be home with us.
I’ve experienced all the stages of grief over what I thought this year would be. How unprepared our country has been. How many people are suffering. How scary this all is. How much we are all hurting.
Despite all this, I don’t want this post to only focus on complaints, so I’m choosing to pivot to the positives of the past month:
- The helpers. I have seen people reach into their hearts and pockets to help others. I also shared ideas for how to give to others if you are in a position to do so.
- Quality time with family.
- Gratitude about still having a job (at least for now?), a home, groceries and pretty much all we need.
- Time (on weekends) for home projects.
- A reminder to check in on family and friends more often. I worry about them nonstop.
That’s all I have for now. Take care of yourself, stay home, and wash your hands. How are you?