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I recently came across the title “Hold On, But Don’t Hold Still: Hope and Humor from My Seriously Flawed Life” by Kristina Kuzmic on Audible and thought it might be a motivating listen. Kuzmic is a mother and the title promises to offer humor and hope. I agree that she accomplishes that goal throughout the book.
Kristina Kuzmic is a blogger who looked familiar to me when I saw the cover of the book. I have seen her social media posts in the past, but I didn’t put the two together until after I finished the book. She is also the winner o fMark Burnett’s reality TV competition “Oprah’s Search for the Next TV Star,” which I was unfamiliar with. I found her story about the experience on the show interesting and learned insights about what it’s like to be sequestered for show production.
Many moments brought me to tears and resonated with me. For example, she talks about no getting any eye contact from a social services worker when she applied for food stamps. It made her feel like she wasn’t being treated as a human. This made me emotional and also angry that people are treated this way.
She talks about not telling children they are shy, which I completely agree with. I myself was told this growing up and now I wonder if I actually was shy or whether I just didn’t feel comfortable with certain people and was being forced into situations I didn’t like. There’s also a negative connotation when people say kids are shy. Maybe they just don’t want to talk to someone or they don’t feel comfortable yet. I try to keep this in mind when my girls are acting in a way people might label as shy.
In Chapter Six, “I Didn’t Tell,” I felt like a trigger warning would have been helpful before she discusses sexual abuse she suffered as a child. It’s an important topic but one that affects so many of us that I would have appreciated a trigger warning. In this chapter she says victims shouldn’t be the ones who carry around the shame; it should be the abuser, and I agree.
In a chapter called “Recovering Pessimist” she mentions throwing a party for a friend who got laid off. I was bewildered by that. Of course the friend said it was OK, but I still find it to be sort of diminishing the bad feelings that come with a job loss typically. It’s OK to mourn things. It doesn’t need to be celebrated, but if he enjoyed it, I hope it took his mind off the situation, at least. She talks about using “Yeah But” to turn her negative thoughts into positive ones. But her example was that she suffered a miscarriage and then went home after the procedure to tell herself “Yeah but” she has a supporting husband that day and reminding herself of the good in her life. Yes, I’m sure that’s true, but it’s OK to feel the negative feelings about such a devastating event before healing. It’s an important part of grief to feel your true feelings, not talk yourself out of them. Being grateful for what you have is wonderful while also acknowledging that you just suffered a terrible loss. She writes about writing down something good from that day even though it was difficult. If that helped her I am glad; however, it’s OK to skip a gratitude list on a day such as that. You can get back to it the next day or when you’re ready.
Overall I think this is a motivating and enjoyable read. Parents might especially enjoy her real talk about kids and parenting. She also seems like a kind and caring person and her story is inspiring in many ways.
Have you read or listened to this book?
